1. |
A Reason
05:57
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Took a walk
They said I’d find a reason
Took some pills
So I could find a reason
Talked a lot
To try and find a reason
But I’m a hopeless kid
I can’t sort out a thing
I wish you were the one
I wish you were reason
Elevate
Doctor said
It’s possible
Turned to him
Then I said
Invincible
Then she said
Don’t be sad
That’s no good
But I’m a hopeless kid
I can’t sort out a thing
I wish you were the one
I wish you were reason
Took a walk
Talked a lot
Took some pills
Doctor said
Then she said
So good
Don’t be sad
Beautiful
Wish I was
Wish I could
etc
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2. |
Up On The Whim
02:05
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Give me my anaesthetic!
Might I fall out of the sky
Like a mystery sombrero
And catch the public eye
How on earth did I get there?
What did I forget to write?
My body touched the ground
Without a scream or a cry
Only a lust
A fascination
A suicide fantasy
Feeding from my degeneration
My skin’s starting to crawl
Up on the whim
A conscience caving in
Up on the whim
A conscience caving in
Gazing up at uniform prison windows
Flat-pack apartments built from luxury lego
Gonna floor my motorcycle
Crash my speeding car
Need a break from this existence
Want to be reborn on mars
But it’s a life
Born out of fiction
A celluloid imposition
Hard-back second edition
My skin’s starting to crawl
Up on the whim
A conscience caving in
Up on the whim
A conscience caving in
Do do do do do do do do do do…
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3. |
Jody Told Me
01:57
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Jody told me
I’m not cut out to be
The singer-songwriter
An A-list celebrity
‘Cause I can’t hit the high notes
And I sure can’t reach the low
But I always seem to think that
I’m the face of rock and roll
Jody told me
I’m such and imbecile
How can someone so oblivious
Be such a know-it-all
I’m pedantic and pompous
Arrogant with spite
Mean treating and conceited
Like a spoilt little brat
Jody
I don’t care what you say
Jean thinks my cheeks are rosy
And that I’m smart, polite and brave
Jody
I don’t care what you say
‘Cause practice makes perfect
So I’ll practice everyday
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4. |
Numb
03:08
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So
I’ve been told
I'm too old before my time
So
I’ve been told
I'm too old before my time
Numb
You feel numb with loving arms around you
(Arms around you)
Numb
You feel numb with loving arms around you
(Arms around you)
Numb
You feel numb
Goodbye human emotion
So long
You feel numb with loving arms around you
Arms around you
(repeat all of above)
Numb
You feel numb with loving arms around you
(Arms around you)
(x4)
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh
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5. |
Air Raid Crouching
03:03
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A bitter breeze through wind swept feet
The strangled tone of passing sirens
Gravel spitting at the pavement
Trains rolling along the steel
Made you duck out for a moment
Scared to move
Air raid crouching
Red arrows flying
Tarmac melting
Every little trivial uncertainty
And every minor unforseeable casualty
Creeps its way in
And runs amok
‘Have the good times while you’re young’
That’s easier said than done
Whilst the rain comes down and chills you
Whilst you forget others around you
Whilst you remain a sombre, sulking
Self absorbed,
Sullen waste of space
Waiting on a cure
Why does it make it worse when you try to fight it?
It fights right back at you
You know it makes it worse when you try to hide it
It busts its way through
Exposes you
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6. |
So Easy
03:30
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It’s so easy
To think that you’re the one
So insistent on doing right
Far too insecure in advance
It’s so easy
To apologize for yourself
‘Cause nobody likes a misery
No one wants to hear about ‘you and me’
Sit on your own and talk to your crystal ball
I’m a little scared
But I’m mostly rue
So my heart is bruised from holding my breath too long
And that’s what it amounts to
The silver screen and the Stanley blade
Don’t hold your breath song long again
Waiting for that shock to start the beat
‘Cause you’ll always turn out tertiary
Sit on your own and talk to your crystal ball
I’m a little scared
But I’m mostly rue
And that’s all that it amounts to
It’s so easy
To let somebody down
And to wish that you weren’t around
To see them there so let down with you
Do you think I could make my wish come true
Grant me my wish and kiss me twice
Don’t hold your breath so long again
Waiting for that shock to start the beat
‘Cause you’ll always turn out tertiary
And that’s all that it amounts to
The silver screen and the stanley blade
And all of my plans and my hopeless mistakes
It’s so easy pulling the pin from the hand grenade
It’s so easy
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7. |
Like A Dynamo
02:42
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My mind
Just won’t let me be
Just won’t let me be
Just won’t let me be
Lord I cannot stand
This anxiety
This anxiety
This anxiety
Thoughts conducting
Like a dynamo
A never waning
Ruminating
Endless life retracing low
Rushes growing in my chest, up my neck
Legs are weak, short of breath, feeling sick
Stomach churning, feel like I’ll choke
Joints are aching, lump in my throat
Got a fear biting at my spine
Feel so dizzy, feel over tired
Can’t sit still, don’t know what I’ll do
Blood drains from my face and I pace round the room
Thoughts conducting
Like a dynamo
A never waning
Ruminating
Endless life retracing low
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8. |
A New Jerusalem
03:20
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9. |
Mother
03:09
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You answer me with silence
You answer with dismissal of my questions
You speak by leaving the room
You won’t hear my frustration
You only see the clutter in the kitchen
And the rising damp coming through
Mother don’t make me feel I’ve no support
‘Cause I need your love, I need to be a son
Reach out
While half of me went missing
You were in the company of television
Sipping your camomile
Hazy on a California film set
And though you heard me sighing
You had to cook a meal and do the shopping
And hang the clothes on the line
Mother I know I have to help myself
But I need you there at those times that I can’t
Reach out
You kept at such a distance
Private and forthcoming with reluctance
Holidays falling short
Arguments in such a heated climate
I heard the old man laughing
You were standing in the hallway cursing
This residence far from home
*****
I crawled under a dream
You stood there immortal
Majestic
A halo provided by the moonlight
Cast a show of strength
Over a shadow of a doubt
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10. |
Blue Genes
03:23
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Somewhere from my heart
Flows a life turning to blue
A sadness and resentment
Resides inside of me
If I could do things your way
There’s no doubt that I would
I’d try to do things your way
If it did me any good
Somewhere from my heart
Flows a life turning to blue
The generation patchwork
Had been worn right through
I fell into the gene pool
And I sank to the floor
I’d poisoned it all
I was upside down and back to front
Head over heels, stuck in the mud
(these blue genes I have
I plead to have not)
It’s painstaking to think it
That this is me and that’s who I’ll be
These blue genes will continue
To exist as part of me
It’s some small consolation
To know that life is short
It’s transient and fleeting
It’s hard to find the point
I don’t want your eggs
I don’t want mine
‘Cause these blue
Genes just might show up down the line
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11. |
Static
02:47
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She’s got me going out
She’s making me wake up
She’s bringing breakfast to bed
And her steaming hot tea pot
She let’s me share her wine
She’s giving me her shade
She’s giving me her static
Yeah she’s helping me to change
Oh I feel the light from clean blue skies
Oh I feel her warmth, her charge inside
She’s running a warm bath
She’s making me so clean
She’s wearing subtle perfume
She’s applying steroid cream
So close to being one
She’s weezing out my name
We could drive out to the seaside
We could jump aboard a plane
Oh I feel the light from clean blue skies
Oh I feel her warmth, her charge inside
Oh I feel the light from clean blue skies
Oh I feel her warmth, her charge inside
I feel her every move
God knows it ain’t a sin
She’s giving me her static
Yeah she’s made my life begin
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12. |
Circa 1983
04:38
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Somewhere in a former life
I would have shot my mother
Circa 1983 when I would be conceived
Somewhere in a former life
I would have shot my father
Circa 1983 when I formed my character genes
So if I pray to you dear lord
Will you cure my soul?
Jesus be my savior
And I will be your son
If I pray to you dear lord
Will you cure my soul?
Jesus be my hitman
And you can shoot my gun
“Don’t scorn your flesh dear
You might not speak again dear”
I’m not much of a nurse dear
So feed me to the pigs
Just as tragic heroes
And players are to be
You would find me a grave man
Circa 1983
Frying free range eggs for my tea
Just another salmonella Sunday
(Repeat all of above)
Cir-ca (x10)
Cir…
Circa 1983 (x4)
So if I pray to you dear lord
Will you cure my soul?
Jesus be my savior
And I will be your son
If I pray to you dear lord
Will you cure my soul?
Jesus be my hitman
And you can shoot my gun
“Don’t scorn your flesh dear
You might not speak again dear”
I’m not much of a nurse dear
So feed me to the pigs
Just as tragic heroes
And players are to be
You would find me a grave man
Circa 1983
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13. |
Sold
04:39
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You’d like to meet someone
Who doesn’t treat you like an endless chore
‘Cause you don’t want a fight
Or any trouble every time you call
You’d like to have a friend
Someone that doesn’t try to take you on
Or try to hold you down
Or try to turn a simple question round
Don’t cry because you sold yourself this time
You’d like to meet someone
Who doesn’t ask for something in return
You’d like to feel secure
And have importance in somebody’s world
Drunken and floundering
You reached out for a helping hand
A grip to lead you home
A substitute to occupy your bed
Don’t cry because you sold yourself this time
So you tried to play the field
But there’s no love to find that’s lasting
Just a one night stand
Which makes you feel obscene
So you close your eyes
And let hot water run
Over your arms,
Legs
A swan-song
You’d like to meet someone
Someone who doesn’t treat you like a bore
You’d like to meet someone
Someone who doesn’t make you feel ignored
You’d like to meet someone
Someone who holds you like you’re something more
You’d like to meet someone
Someone who gives you something at all
Don’t cry because you sold yourself this time
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14. |
Dissociation
07:05
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This isn’t my body
These aren’t my own thoughts
These are not my movements
That’s not my reflection
This view point is alien
That’s not my position
Make it go away
Am I being erased yet?
I’m so sure that I’m not alive
I’m so sure I’m waiting to die
Lost in time
Lost in mind
In disguise
This isn’t true colour
These aren’t my own visions
These can’t be my reactions
Is this a construction?
These are not my perceptions
I can’t feel these sensations
Make it go away
Am I being erased yet?
I’m so sure that I’m not alive
I’m so sure I’m waiting to die
Lost in time
Lost in mind
In disguise
You don’t know you’ve been born kid…
This isn’t my body
These aren’t my own thoughts
These are not my movements
That’s not my reflection
This view point is alien
That’s not my position
Make it go away
Am I being erased yet?
Am I being erased yet?
Am I being erased yet?
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jamie says... London, UK
jamie says... was the solo project of Kyle Hill. He released two albums (Autumn Sun & Blue Genes) and the 7" singles Machine & Down To The Debauchuary.
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